• what she says: you can touch my hair if you want
    • what she means: please for the love of god play with my hair feel how soft it is i will roll over into your lap like a kitten
  • zagreus-taking-time-apart:

    steampoweredsass:

    zagreus-taking-time-apart:

    We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger

    image

    WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE

    I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth

    I HATE geese, the giant evil cousins of ducks.

    (via andrewquo)

    "

    A woman who hates you is playing the pianoforte.

    You have five hundred a year. From who? Five hundred what? No one knows. No one cares. You have it. It’s yours. Every year. All five hundred of it.

    A charming man attempts to flirt with you. This is terrible.

    You are in a garden, and you are astonished.

    "
    How To Tell If You Are In A Jane Austen Novel (via jeanpaulfarte)

    (Source: agonyandagony, via walrusmstr)


    Dearly Eerie
    If wishes were fishes I'd use up an ocean.